Did you know that there is a Back to the Future game? Oh, yeah, that NES one; I forgot. Well, did you know that they made a better one? And it's by the gang behind the Walking Dead game? If you did, just play along for the rest of the Internet.
Set right after Movie #3, Marty McFly must find out what happened to Doc Brown. Doc sent back Einstein the dog in the delorian (which I remember that thing becoming scrap metal after #3, so enter PLOT HOLES) and Marty receives a call for help on a tape recorder. The game already has multiple references to the movie series, so I already want to keep playing. But there are other games, so I gotta make like a tree and GET OUTTA HERE.
Go ahead and face palm. If you remember, you'll get a laugh. If you don't know what happened, you need to watch the series.
And speaking of a series, I have been playing the Dance Central series lately. Even got a pal who wants to achievement hunt with me. (SHOUT OUT TO MR. L!) If you think that you're fit, then you go a couple rounds on this and then talk to me. Even just half-A--ing it, the game will work you till you drop. Most of the songs are more adult-themed songs, and the DLC songs are ridiculously priced, but hey- I like the game, so I'll dance like a monkey for a few more bucks.
Besides, the games has a cool feature that wasn't advertised: I will load up a currently popular song for some kids that think "SWAG" and "YOLO" are desirable traits. The moment they try to show off their "SWAG" on, say, "Soulja Boy", all that "SWAG" can't save them and I get real dancers on the floor. I don't care if my biggest customers are 8 years old. They can bust some moves.
The last game I have for you kinda breaks my norm so far. Phase 10, a card game in which you need to acquire a certain set of cards 10 times before your opponents. It's like a harder version of Rummy. My wife and I try to get one game in before bed. We've gotten to the point where we breeze through the game in minutes. We still enjoy each others company, just like an old married couple should. "SKIP!" "F--- you, B---h." "Bite me, W---e. OW!" Don't worry, we'd rather fight over cards than anything else.
In case you were still waiting for the next chapters in my Dead Space play-through.... I finally discovered true fear. More on that around Wednesday.
20130302
IRL EXP: Third's a Charm or Three Strikes?
OOOOOHHHHHH MY BABY IS COMING AND NO I MEAN MY WIFE IS HAVING A BABY I MEAN NOW YEAH NOW HE'S COMING THROUGH HE WANTS OUT BUT IT'S TOO EARLY SO WHAT NOW WHAT NOW SOMEBODY STOP ME
*Slap*
Thank you, random Web Surfer. Let us backtrack a bit. My wife is due April 22, and this will be our third child yet first son. Emerson David Sagataw, he shall be called, and he may be called that really early. Nicole has been feeling odd pains all day. I, being the good husband (and the ever worrier), suggested that Nicole should check it out. After all, her mucus plug (real thing, eww) fell out a few days ago. That means baby wants out pretty soon. Nicole, being the loving wife that she is, then told me to shut up- everything is fine and that I should make her a sandwich.
Fast Forward about four hours. Nicole really is in pain, and I need to go to work. I'm literally in front on my workplace's front door. She asks that I come home with her to help her with the girls, but still refuses to see the doctor or even call him. I walk inside to tell my coworkers that I cannot come in today, as odd as that sounds.
Jump another four hours and we're right around here. Nicole is in Pain. We drive up to DCH with our twin terrors sleeping soundly. She insists that, even though she NOW thinks that there may be an issue, that she can take care of herself and I wait patiently for her. Even now, I wait for a call or text message stating that there will be or will not be a baby coming tonight. Can you tell that I'm handling this well?
If this were a video game, I may have restarted a couple times. Just to make sure I got the right outcome. You see, I don't like this at all. I have to wait and see if other people do the right thing. Not fellow teammates or NPCs, but other people in general. It's as nerve-racking as gambling; I don't know the odds and wouldn't benefit if I did. My part has ended and now I have to wait for player 95 to take their turn with my campaign. I don't like it. That's my wife. That's my son.
Uh, wait one. Okay, the official word is that my wife is having real contractions, but it is not full labor and she is not dilated. Doctor "I have an online degree" said she can leave, so while I'm happy she and baby are okay, I don't like that player 95 decided to go AFK. The ball is back in my court, however, and now I can take a more active role in keeping my family safe. Now, if only I had a sure fire way to keep Emerson inside for a while longer.
*Slap*
Thank you, random Web Surfer. Let us backtrack a bit. My wife is due April 22, and this will be our third child yet first son. Emerson David Sagataw, he shall be called, and he may be called that really early. Nicole has been feeling odd pains all day. I, being the good husband (and the ever worrier), suggested that Nicole should check it out. After all, her mucus plug (real thing, eww) fell out a few days ago. That means baby wants out pretty soon. Nicole, being the loving wife that she is, then told me to shut up- everything is fine and that I should make her a sandwich.
Fast Forward about four hours. Nicole really is in pain, and I need to go to work. I'm literally in front on my workplace's front door. She asks that I come home with her to help her with the girls, but still refuses to see the doctor or even call him. I walk inside to tell my coworkers that I cannot come in today, as odd as that sounds.
Jump another four hours and we're right around here. Nicole is in Pain. We drive up to DCH with our twin terrors sleeping soundly. She insists that, even though she NOW thinks that there may be an issue, that she can take care of herself and I wait patiently for her. Even now, I wait for a call or text message stating that there will be or will not be a baby coming tonight. Can you tell that I'm handling this well?
If this were a video game, I may have restarted a couple times. Just to make sure I got the right outcome. You see, I don't like this at all. I have to wait and see if other people do the right thing. Not fellow teammates or NPCs, but other people in general. It's as nerve-racking as gambling; I don't know the odds and wouldn't benefit if I did. My part has ended and now I have to wait for player 95 to take their turn with my campaign. I don't like it. That's my wife. That's my son.
Uh, wait one. Okay, the official word is that my wife is having real contractions, but it is not full labor and she is not dilated. Doctor "I have an online degree" said she can leave, so while I'm happy she and baby are okay, I don't like that player 95 decided to go AFK. The ball is back in my court, however, and now I can take a more active role in keeping my family safe. Now, if only I had a sure fire way to keep Emerson inside for a while longer.
20130228
IRL EXP + FAIL: Dead Space and the F-Bomb
Let me see a quick show of hands: Who has played Dead Space? To those with their hands still in the air: Who were scared to the point where you HAD to walk away?
If you didn't get scared, you're either a liar or a psychopath. If you raised your hand, you're just silly. This is the Internet; I can't see you. But thanks for playing along.
Dead Space 3 just came out, and I figured that I'd start over from the first game and just play my way through. Luckily, there was a sale for the PS3 recently. I can now play with ALL OF THESE DOWNLOADED items, but that's no fun. It is not a true test of my skill as a gamer. It would be like playing DOOM 1 for the first time with God Mode on. No, I want to remember what made Dead Space so good in the first place.
And right away, I begin to remember. I even learn a few things. New thing #1: If you leave the game for a bit, it will go into a demo mode, where it sings "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star", and flashes scenes of your character dying graphically. Haven't even started playing, and I'm creeped out. Sweet.
WARNING: SPOILERS
OKAY. So, chapter one. I walk in and start hoarding immediately. I grab some person's money that they left and no one cares. Hey, a Med Pack! Grab that too, LoL. Walk behind a glass wall and watch people die- OH F--- That escalated quickly. And Red Shirt Two is dead. Alas, poor dead guy; I hardly knew you. Parting is such sweet- WHERE'S THE BAD GUY!? OH F--- He's after me run run run run and SAFE! No, no, yes, YES. HA. Punk. And now I have a gun. Oh yeah, that's right, I'm bad, you know it. Let me just shoot the door and rescue this guy who is now dead. Okay, whatever. I have a gun, so I'll just hunt you down. That's right, run away. Got you now, ya little- HELLO. F--- I just got ambushed. Fine, I ain't even mad. Well played.
Just replaced a shuttle, and now I'm going to walk through this pile of dead things I killed earlier- F--- YOU you sneaky bastards. I forgot that dead bodies disappear in the game due to RAM constraints, ambiance and the story. Fine, you little F---ers, you wanna play that game? Fine. FINE. Just let me get into my ship and F--- I'M ON FIRE. Give me a F---ing break! This game is half scaring me, and half PISSING ME OFF. Now I need to find a dead guy in the medical bay.... F---.
Chapter two, a crazy lady gives me my kinesis unit then dies. Whatever. I half-remember the baby Necromorphs, so you don't bother me. Oh hey! Space! And I have air, cool. Jump around, jump around, shoot the Necros crawling around. New Thing #2: No one can hear you scream F--- as a Necromorph just walks up on you. Actual science in a video game; who would have guessed? And now the baby- F--- YOU. JUST F--- YOU. I DID NOT THINK THOSE F---ERS COULD CLIMB AND SHOOT S---. SO F--- YOU AND YOUR F---ING Thermite.... Fine, but I'm still angry. And I died to some weird acid spewing slinky Necromorphs. And again. Mass slow and bang bang bang. So, let's blow s--- up! Huh. Disappointing. Giant creepy hole in the hall, kite that f---er with my weapon at the ready.... And that is how Necromorphs are made! Eww. Oh, F---, he's coming for me DIE MOTHERF---ER, DIE! QUIT MAKING MORE, DAMNIT! ARRRRGGGHHH! And I have to go back to the big hole f---you f---you f---you and made it. I want a new gun.
So yeah. I remember Dead Space now. Just starting Chapter three and I'm not very happy. I still think it's a great game, just very infuriating. Stay tuned for more of my thrilling experience in the game F--- YOU I JUST STARTED THIS DAMN LEVEL GO AWAY
If you didn't get scared, you're either a liar or a psychopath. If you raised your hand, you're just silly. This is the Internet; I can't see you. But thanks for playing along.
Dead Space 3 just came out, and I figured that I'd start over from the first game and just play my way through. Luckily, there was a sale for the PS3 recently. I can now play with ALL OF THESE DOWNLOADED items, but that's no fun. It is not a true test of my skill as a gamer. It would be like playing DOOM 1 for the first time with God Mode on. No, I want to remember what made Dead Space so good in the first place.
And right away, I begin to remember. I even learn a few things. New thing #1: If you leave the game for a bit, it will go into a demo mode, where it sings "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star", and flashes scenes of your character dying graphically. Haven't even started playing, and I'm creeped out. Sweet.
WARNING: SPOILERS
OKAY. So, chapter one. I walk in and start hoarding immediately. I grab some person's money that they left and no one cares. Hey, a Med Pack! Grab that too, LoL. Walk behind a glass wall and watch people die- OH F--- That escalated quickly. And Red Shirt Two is dead. Alas, poor dead guy; I hardly knew you. Parting is such sweet- WHERE'S THE BAD GUY!? OH F--- He's after me run run run run and SAFE! No, no, yes, YES. HA. Punk. And now I have a gun. Oh yeah, that's right, I'm bad, you know it. Let me just shoot the door and rescue this guy who is now dead. Okay, whatever. I have a gun, so I'll just hunt you down. That's right, run away. Got you now, ya little- HELLO. F--- I just got ambushed. Fine, I ain't even mad. Well played.
Just replaced a shuttle, and now I'm going to walk through this pile of dead things I killed earlier- F--- YOU you sneaky bastards. I forgot that dead bodies disappear in the game due to RAM constraints, ambiance and the story. Fine, you little F---ers, you wanna play that game? Fine. FINE. Just let me get into my ship and F--- I'M ON FIRE. Give me a F---ing break! This game is half scaring me, and half PISSING ME OFF. Now I need to find a dead guy in the medical bay.... F---.
Chapter two, a crazy lady gives me my kinesis unit then dies. Whatever. I half-remember the baby Necromorphs, so you don't bother me. Oh hey! Space! And I have air, cool. Jump around, jump around, shoot the Necros crawling around. New Thing #2: No one can hear you scream F--- as a Necromorph just walks up on you. Actual science in a video game; who would have guessed? And now the baby- F--- YOU. JUST F--- YOU. I DID NOT THINK THOSE F---ERS COULD CLIMB AND SHOOT S---. SO F--- YOU AND YOUR F---ING Thermite.... Fine, but I'm still angry. And I died to some weird acid spewing slinky Necromorphs. And again. Mass slow and bang bang bang. So, let's blow s--- up! Huh. Disappointing. Giant creepy hole in the hall, kite that f---er with my weapon at the ready.... And that is how Necromorphs are made! Eww. Oh, F---, he's coming for me DIE MOTHERF---ER, DIE! QUIT MAKING MORE, DAMNIT! ARRRRGGGHHH! And I have to go back to the big hole f---you f---you f---you and made it. I want a new gun.
So yeah. I remember Dead Space now. Just starting Chapter three and I'm not very happy. I still think it's a great game, just very infuriating. Stay tuned for more of my thrilling experience in the game F--- YOU I JUST STARTED THIS DAMN LEVEL GO AWAY
20130221
Okay
I like Rammus. This guy was the second champion I've ever played. (Sona was first) He's like a tiny little tank of "F You, I do what I want". Want to shoot him in the face? Nope, hit W to kill Miss Fortune in the middle of her Ult. Karthus is chanting? Hit E to stop him and save team. Tristana is getting away? Q around minions and get the kill. My favorite part is that his Ult can hit towers. Now with season 3, all I need is teleport, Omhwrecker, and a Warmog's; now I can eat towers in seconds.
So now, I have to wonder, just what else can he do? Maybe I could go At-Mog's with him. Perhaps put on some attack speed and freak people out. Maybe even go AP with him. Imagine what his Q could do with it's flat +1 AP ratio and a Deathcap. It's a Troll build, definitely, but it would be fun to see if it works. I mean, I just ran a Support Rammus for Ezreal and we destroyed bottom lane. So a Liandry's would work perfectly in that role, taking out 10% health with every Successful Q. Quickly E the target and wait for Ez to kill it; boom, dead enemy, next please.
While this is all fun to speculate, I really won't try any of this outside of bots until: (A) I know that it works REALLY well, and (B) Free Ezreal/Talon week is over. I mean, you guys are really squishy. When I leave the lane to re-up health and mana, you should come with. Seriously. Oh, new match! Rammus, I choose you!
So now, I have to wonder, just what else can he do? Maybe I could go At-Mog's with him. Perhaps put on some attack speed and freak people out. Maybe even go AP with him. Imagine what his Q could do with it's flat +1 AP ratio and a Deathcap. It's a Troll build, definitely, but it would be fun to see if it works. I mean, I just ran a Support Rammus for Ezreal and we destroyed bottom lane. So a Liandry's would work perfectly in that role, taking out 10% health with every Successful Q. Quickly E the target and wait for Ez to kill it; boom, dead enemy, next please.
While this is all fun to speculate, I really won't try any of this outside of bots until: (A) I know that it works REALLY well, and (B) Free Ezreal/Talon week is over. I mean, you guys are really squishy. When I leave the lane to re-up health and mana, you should come with. Seriously. Oh, new match! Rammus, I choose you!
20121226
IRL FAIL: Music Theory
Nicole: "So, why can't you keep up a conversation with me?"
Well, I'm concentrating on doing the dishes while you walk around the house cleaning randomly. At the same time, we have noise from the other apartments and your music playing, adding to my concentration difficulties of talking to you.
"Can't you just tune out to the music, like me?"
Well, no, not really. I really don't like this type of music. I usually like rock.
"How could you tune out with your music? I really don't like your nerdy music at all. Even the rock music gives me a headache."
Think of it this way. You like your music because you're familiar with it. Such as this current song; I don't know who sings it, but I can tell that it sounds like a random 'I love my man' song by a random teen to twenty-something female singer. That kind of song is one you are comfortable with, so you can just tune out with it and work to the beat. I, however, am not accustomed to it, so I cannot tune it out. I listen to the song because it stands out to me.
"What?"
Try it this way. Let's say you listen to Victorian music and I listen to Tribal music. You could not stand my music because it's so different. I could not stand your music as well, yet we each love our own music because we are used to it. Tracking?
"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. :)"
WHA-BUTI-IJUST..... BDKVHE,FHWNCIJGBSIZJCMGUR
Well, I'm concentrating on doing the dishes while you walk around the house cleaning randomly. At the same time, we have noise from the other apartments and your music playing, adding to my concentration difficulties of talking to you.
"Can't you just tune out to the music, like me?"
Well, no, not really. I really don't like this type of music. I usually like rock.
"How could you tune out with your music? I really don't like your nerdy music at all. Even the rock music gives me a headache."
Think of it this way. You like your music because you're familiar with it. Such as this current song; I don't know who sings it, but I can tell that it sounds like a random 'I love my man' song by a random teen to twenty-something female singer. That kind of song is one you are comfortable with, so you can just tune out with it and work to the beat. I, however, am not accustomed to it, so I cannot tune it out. I listen to the song because it stands out to me.
"What?"
Try it this way. Let's say you listen to Victorian music and I listen to Tribal music. You could not stand my music because it's so different. I could not stand your music as well, yet we each love our own music because we are used to it. Tracking?
"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. :)"
WHA-BUTI-IJUST..... BDKVHE,FHWNCIJGBSIZJCMGUR
20121212
Dear Game Freak:
I have an idea to end all ideas. This one will blow your mind. Take your next Pokémon game for the new WiiU and make it like my idea. In return, I want a copy and 0.05% of all the profits associated with the game.
For your next game, make it an actual training simulation of Pokémon. Like a virtual pet, but Pokémon, and better. Repeat an attack on this dummy to improve accuracy and speed. Run through simulations with other Pokémon. Have this Pokémon learn, actually learn how to fight. Then engage in online battles in a 3D environment with other people's Pokémon. It would be like the anime, but more engaging. "Fury Swipes has bad accuracy, so I trained my Pokémon to zig-zag to take advantage of it!" "RHYPERIOR, SANDSTORM AND DIG!" And all this would happen in real-time, combining your command speed with that of your Pokémon's speed. Instant reaction from a Whisicott and a two-second drag for the same move done by a Ferrothorn.
Limited trainer customization. What you have done so far is great. Stay with that. I don't wish to see rude and disturbing trainer's cards depicting phallic symbols.
Structured tournaments online using Smogon rules. I won't come back to a Hoenh region match if all I see are the Regi team rocking unsuspecting players.
Write a story using all the regions. Restart and use the region's Pokémon in all official battles, such as gym battles, the Elite Four, and any Pokémon-theme side game of the region. Sure, Team Plasma just got rocked by your Level 100 Charizard, but your Infurnape now has no EVs and is easy pickings for the Fighting gym. Trainers won't pay out unless it's a region-based Pokémon. You can think of something, I don't need to do all the work for you.
So again, I hope that you will take what I have typed into consider- OMG GEN SIX IS OUT MUST HAVE 3DS
For your next game, make it an actual training simulation of Pokémon. Like a virtual pet, but Pokémon, and better. Repeat an attack on this dummy to improve accuracy and speed. Run through simulations with other Pokémon. Have this Pokémon learn, actually learn how to fight. Then engage in online battles in a 3D environment with other people's Pokémon. It would be like the anime, but more engaging. "Fury Swipes has bad accuracy, so I trained my Pokémon to zig-zag to take advantage of it!" "RHYPERIOR, SANDSTORM AND DIG!" And all this would happen in real-time, combining your command speed with that of your Pokémon's speed. Instant reaction from a Whisicott and a two-second drag for the same move done by a Ferrothorn.
Limited trainer customization. What you have done so far is great. Stay with that. I don't wish to see rude and disturbing trainer's cards depicting phallic symbols.
Structured tournaments online using Smogon rules. I won't come back to a Hoenh region match if all I see are the Regi team rocking unsuspecting players.
Write a story using all the regions. Restart and use the region's Pokémon in all official battles, such as gym battles, the Elite Four, and any Pokémon-theme side game of the region. Sure, Team Plasma just got rocked by your Level 100 Charizard, but your Infurnape now has no EVs and is easy pickings for the Fighting gym. Trainers won't pay out unless it's a region-based Pokémon. You can think of something, I don't need to do all the work for you.
So again, I hope that you will take what I have typed into consider- OMG GEN SIX IS OUT MUST HAVE 3DS
20121208
IRL EXP: Challenge Declined
Hmmm. I really want to explore something serious, but now I feel like I should insert funny meme-like sayings. (Not sure if I should be serious, or be funny.) Oops, too late!
The other night, I was playing Borderlands 1. Internet was just put onto the PS3, but security is so tight that the PSN store freezes. No biggie, let's see if online play works. Huh, no online games, but I can start one. (Forever Alone) Let's be a Berserker! Level 1, out the door and... Hey! Someone wants to play! It's a level 69 Siren... (Bad Luck Brian) Well, sweet, but now all the monsters are insanely difficult. Wait! A level 1 Soldier joined! (Success Kid) And another 69 hunter. Eh. I'll take what I can get.
Alright, so let's start... Um, no, I don't want to duel. You're ridiculously overpowered. Let's shoot those bad guys over... Oh, they're dead already. Well, how about... Nope, they're dead now. Well, the level 1 guy is with me, at least! And off he goes, trolling into the sunset. But we need that car... Oh, hey guy! You dropped your level 69 extremely rare weapon! You dropped three of them, in fact. Didn't you want them? Oh, you want me to have them? But that would break the game for me... (Socially Awkward Penguin) Okay, I guess.
Well, it's been fun, watching all of you one-shot everything and watching that one guy do things totally not helpful in any way. But I'm going now, since this really isn't fun anymore. I have no proficiency in my weapons as a 12 Berserker, and I gained those levels in an hour. Most of that was travel. So later! Don't call us; We'll call you. (Abandon Thread)
Normally, I wouldn't object to power-leveling. But everything is still new to me, and I want to get a handle on how everything works. So lesson learned: I will have to stay offline if I want to learn a game. Unless it's designed for online, like LoL. I'm so bad at that game, it's funny. But another story for another time.
The other night, I was playing Borderlands 1. Internet was just put onto the PS3, but security is so tight that the PSN store freezes. No biggie, let's see if online play works. Huh, no online games, but I can start one. (Forever Alone) Let's be a Berserker! Level 1, out the door and... Hey! Someone wants to play! It's a level 69 Siren... (Bad Luck Brian) Well, sweet, but now all the monsters are insanely difficult. Wait! A level 1 Soldier joined! (Success Kid) And another 69 hunter. Eh. I'll take what I can get.
Alright, so let's start... Um, no, I don't want to duel. You're ridiculously overpowered. Let's shoot those bad guys over... Oh, they're dead already. Well, how about... Nope, they're dead now. Well, the level 1 guy is with me, at least! And off he goes, trolling into the sunset. But we need that car... Oh, hey guy! You dropped your level 69 extremely rare weapon! You dropped three of them, in fact. Didn't you want them? Oh, you want me to have them? But that would break the game for me... (Socially Awkward Penguin) Okay, I guess.
Well, it's been fun, watching all of you one-shot everything and watching that one guy do things totally not helpful in any way. But I'm going now, since this really isn't fun anymore. I have no proficiency in my weapons as a 12 Berserker, and I gained those levels in an hour. Most of that was travel. So later! Don't call us; We'll call you. (Abandon Thread)
Normally, I wouldn't object to power-leveling. But everything is still new to me, and I want to get a handle on how everything works. So lesson learned: I will have to stay offline if I want to learn a game. Unless it's designed for online, like LoL. I'm so bad at that game, it's funny. But another story for another time.
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